AUSTIN, Texas -- As Gen. George Patton said of war, "God help me, but I love it so." I realize that the only people in America having a good time right now are political reporters, but we haven't had this much fun since Grandpa fell in the...
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24 October 2000
AUSTIN, Texas -- Great. George W. Bush sounds like English is his second language, and Al Gore sounds like he thinks it's yours. It's like having Ted Baxter of the old "Mary Tyler Moore" show running for president: Gore has Ted's manner,...
22 October 2000
BOSTON -- The news media missed the third debate because they were so focused on Al Gore. Gore was again aggressive, Gore was arguably over the line a couple of times -- anyone see any sign of a new stretcher? They missed George W. Bush's...
19 October 2000
WASHINGTON -- As they used to say, long ago and far away, there it is.
Tuesday night's debate gave us the real Al Gore and the real George W. Bush. Gore won -- he may even have killed -- but he's still annoying. One can only conclude...
19 October 2000
Earthlings have continued a tradition of bizarre rituals during
their planet's current season. A columnist from the Galactic Syndicate
provides this analysis:
From afar, we may be inclined to smirk at the activities of...
17 October 2000
NEW YORK -- Faint, but at this late date we abstain from the new mandatory media pose of being clever and snide about the only two major presidential candidates we've got, and pause here to consider An Issue. (I know -- so quaint of us.)...
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